Standing Silly

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I'm a spontaneous, short, and silly redhead with a whole lot of dreams and so little time to fulfill them. I want to be something and everything at the same time.

I’m told that I’m selfish because I wasn’t there for you. 

When in reality, you are selfish one for just expecting me to give up my life to supplement yours. 

Posted: 11 months ago - With: 2 notes - Reblog

"What doesn’t kill you, makes you stranger."

That is one of the truest statements I’ve ever heard. It will also make you stronger, yes; but once you’ve walked through hell, you are never going to see the world the same way again. You’ll be ‘stranger’ because others won’t understand. You have a clearer, honest, and true view of life. You’ll stop caring about the bullshit, You’ll go after what you want, and other people won’t be able to do a damn thing to slow you down. 

This is my life. It’s hard and it’s rough, but I’m stronger, stranger, and wiser for it. 

Posted: 11 months ago - With: 1 note - Reblog

Maybe we are all stars?

Each glowing, bright mass is our conscious. How we, currently as human beings perceive it. The universe is so vast, so endless; because we in fact are endless. There is no time and we have no place.  We just are.  We are stars in that weightless moment, we are everything.

Posted: 1 year ago - With: 0 notes - Reblog

This has been the worst and best year of my life.

And I still feel like I’m fish flopping around for water. 

Posted: 1 year ago - With: 0 notes - Reblog

I never really understood all that being in “love” before. Honestly, I’d always thought it was silly.  I thought it would be full of drama and awkward moments. I thought it was ridiculous when couples call each other pet names or kiss in public with no sense of modesty. I’d always judged the love stricken girls that moved in too soon or said yes before the first year had passed. I thought they were stupid for surrendering their hearts so easily and building a brand new life. 

But once day, It’s going to hit you with title wave force. And all that water is going to wash away and eliminate everything you once believed. It’s then that you realize that the heart of you’res you’ve protected so dearly already belonged to another. And in that same instant, you come to realize you protected your heart so forcefully because all your secrets, dreams, and ambitions were locked away in there, waiting, just waiting for the piece that will make it whole.  When you finally find that piece  you’ll know. You will feel it, you’ll be happier than you’ve ever been. With them, you are whole. 

Someday, You are going to wake up with a smile on your face. Someday, someone is going to mean more to you than anything else in the world around you. That day, you’ll know love. A simple, but powerful thing that swallows you up. 

Someday you might do everything that you believed you’d never do, but you will also realize that those scary, adventurous, and spontaneous choices were the best you’ve ever made. 

Posted: 1 year ago - With: 1 note - Reblog

I’m so excited for what the future holds!

It’s been tough getting here. And on the way I crashed and hit rock bottom, But I also learned that there is nowhere to go but up when you’ve lost it all. 

In the past week, I got 3 more jobs. (Bringing my grand total to 6 jobs) And the best part of that is that they are all jobs I absolutely love. From teaching Aerial Arts, to Illustration  and my most recent..teaching my life long love of gymnastics!

I’m so fucking happy. Happier than I’ve been in months. [: Yay life!

Posted: 1 year ago - With: 0 notes - Reblog

I’m going to do what I want with my own life.
I don’t care if people don’t agree.
My life. My rules. My game.
So sorry to break it to you , but despite everything and the rough times; I am well and truly happy. Without you.
Your cruel words, heartless threats, and passive ‘love’ doesn’t and can’t touch me.
So go ahead, keep wasting your time on me. Waste your breath and jealousy.
In your negativity, The only life you are effecting is your own.

The world would be a happier place if everyone just stopped giving a fuck and lived their own lives.

Posted: 1 year ago - With: 1 note - Reblog

I just posted an ad on Craigslist basically pleading for a part time job. 

Okay, it doesn’t sound that bad. I’m good with words, but that’s what it summed up too. 

I laid everything out. Said I need the job because the dream that I’ve cried, bled, and fought for isn’t keeping me afloat. I said I was an aerialist and I need something on the side to keep me upright.

I don’t know if it will get any replies. I’m not sure I even expect anything to come of it, but it felt nice putting it out there. My struggles and mad hope to stick with this dream I gave myself two years ago. I’m terribly sad because I feel like it’s slipping away from me. 

All I want in life is just to be happy. 

Posted: 1 year ago - With: 0 notes - Reblog