Almost 5am and I can’t get back to sleep, but then I look at the man beside me sleeping like a baby and all I can do is smile.
I’m so blessed to have him in my life.
Last night in my dream…
I can’t recall all the details, but something happened where Derek and I were going to die. It was unavoidable, but to save us from the pain and suffering; He shot me .
I vividly remember the when the first bullet hit me in the skull and I wasn’t dead yet. My life literally flashed before my eyes. It was one of the most terrifying and awe-inspiring things I’ve ever experienced. In those fleeting moments, I remember laying on the street in my own blood, the feel of the road on my back, the baby blue of the sky, and looking at Derek right before he shot the second bullet.
Everything went black.
And then the next thing I know, Derek and I are together. We are on the “other side”. It wasn’t heaven, but it was a sort of limbo in-between of the living and dead. It was a beautiful place, very colorful and pretty. I remember the vivid clouds and the bright green foliage all around us.
Although I was blessed to have my lover there with me, I was upset because I knew it was going to be a long time before I saw the rest of my loved ones. It was a strange kind of peace though, knowing I’d be there to greet each of them as they passed over.
3 year Silkversary!
#circus #cirque #silks #aerialist #aerial arts #gymnast #dancer #split #flexible #fitspo #strong #love #mylife
It feels like I’ve passed on my back luck. It has moved on. Although it was rough, It taught me some very valuable lessons and I’m proud to look back and know I survived it all.
The weight that has been holding me down and smothering me for the past six months is gone. I’ve cleared the last hurdle in my path and now everything feels within my grasp, all just waiting for me to take a step in the right direction.
Everything just feels so much clearer. I’m ready to begin my life now.
When you never liked tall men before, but now you can’t imagine a safer place than in the strength of his arms. When you used to sleep in to the very last second before you’re alarm goes off, but now you spend those last few moments cuddled tight and warm in their arms. When you used to enjoy having your alone time, but now you want nothing more than to spend every minute of every day with them. When before you looked only after yourself, but now you’d give your life if it meant saving them.
When you had long ago completely written off getting married to someone, but now it doesn’t sound like such an awful idea. Actually, You’d say yes in a heartbeat if he asked.
I’m so tired, yet at the same time I’m at peace.
It’s an odd feeling. I’ve been scared and stressed for so long and now I find myself at a solid place in life where I don’t have to worry anymore.
All with a little help from my amazing friends.
Nowhere to go but up from here.
